Claustrophobic Popcorn

I didn’t pay $11.75 to hear your occlusals crunch kernels, and strain my neck bobble-head style to view the film. I cherish the movie experience. Two hours of peace from responsibilities and thoughts. Chest pounding audio, and of course the previews. I immerse myself completely in the experience, and enjoy going alone. It is a treat, I get to see what I want.

Here’s my beef though, aka: movie hot dog…Following taking my seat, strangers act like cloned aliens, surrounding me as if the world will end if they don’t suffocate. I am baffled by this phenomenon because it happens all the time! It does not make a difference where I sit or when I arrive, a late arrival will sit in front of me hindering my view, chewing loudly and slurping Pepsi. People gravitate toward me like human magnets with brightly lit phones and massive popcorn. Who created popcorn as a movie treat anyway? Is there a louder snack out there, and why is everyone hungry at 9:50 p.m?!

I am working on not allowing others to cause such frustration, but until that’s accomplished, this is how my movie rolls. I am telling you this claustrophobic popcorn phenomena occurs each time I enter a theatre. Movie goers feed off my selfish space sharing energy and sit as close as possible, as if a test. Must we look our frustrations in the camera lens over and over, before overcoming them? Can humans be okay feeling empty space around them? Secret is, you will survive.

Tonight it was a beautiful snowy evening, not many on the roads. Joyfully, I entered an empty theatre hoping I wouldn’t be faced with spacial suffocation. Soon enough four others meandered in, like amebas slithering toward me from a science fiction film. One sat IN MY ROW, JUST FOUR SEATS AWAY!! Are you kidding? A couple sat two rows below, the last sat behind me. They ALL crunched popcorn.

Please do me a favor, inform me if this spacial claustrophobic popcorn crunching phenomenon happens to you. Until then, be well and give each other some space to chew on…

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